I just spent about two hours trying to craft the perfectly written article for all the reasons why I decided to come out, what factors went in to deciding if I should, and all that jazz. I sat down to read what I wrote and immediately said I didn’t like it. I scrapped it all, and what you’re reading now is what I think is more important.
You want to know why I came out? Because I wanted to.
It’s really that simple, and all the long winded babbling for a more in depth reason seems unnecessary. I came out because I wanted to accept myself and be proud of who I was. That should be the end of the discussion, but that’d make for a pretty lame post, wouldn’t it?
When I sat down to publish my Finding #Fearless article on pansexuality, I was nervous; nervous for a lot of reasons. There was the what if of what my friends and family would say (would they even care? had they always known?). Then there was this fear of publicly announcing a part of yourself that you had only recently accepted too. That kind of honesty makes you feel very vulnerable, and that can be scary for someone who isn’t used to it.
I’ve spent all my life not knowing myself. I’ve had people always telling me who to be, how to act, what to think; and for the first time in my life that barrier was broken down. I was able to finally peer into my own soul and recognize myself for who I am.
That process is extremely overwhelming, and identifying as pansexual was a huge first step that led me down a path of self discovery. I realized that I could safely embrace who I was without fear of being criticized or abandoned. I realized that for the first time in my entire life, I was free to just be who I knew I was without judgement or punishment. I could have my own thoughts, my own voice, my own personality, and that’s a very freeing realization. Overwhelming, sure, but also very exhilarating.
When I decided to come out, whether it was a conscious decision or not, it was because for the first time in my life I was able to connect with that part of me. I was finally beginning to see who I was, without the fear of someone telling me I was wrong.
I came out not just because I wanted to, but there must have been a part of me that really needed it, too. Everyday that I proudly display who I am, I feel my confidence rise. I finally feel like I know my entire self, and that’s the most amazing feeling.
If you would like to email #Fearless, you can send any questions, concerns, comments or suggestions to email@example.com. We do our best to respond within 48 hours, but if for some reason we cannot get back to you in that time frame, we promise we will always respond as soon as possible. You can also find us on any of the following social media sites: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram!
Lastly, we run an Emetophobia Support Group on Facebook. Emetophobia is the intense and irrational fear of throwing up, and it is one struggle we are passionately engaged in. It is a closed, by request only group to help facilitate sharing and support by all members. It is also private, meaning that the posts you and others make will not show up publicly in your newsfeed.