All posts filed under: We Are #Fearless

#Fearless Quote of the Week: July 24-July 30

This week’s quote was chosen by Chelsie S., writer for (and owner of) #Fearless. See what it is and why she chose it below: “This quote is something I feel like I need constant reminder of, especially in the realm of mental health. I think it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that we’re not moving fast enough, or not making enough progress, but every journey is different. You could take the tiniest steps, or spend several days contemplating each step, but as long as you keep pushing yourself towards your goal, and never give up, you’re doing all you can to help yourself. Don’t judge yourself based on how fast someone else recovered – your speed does not matter. Be gentle on yourself, you’re only human after all.” Do you want to be featured on #Fearless? It’s as simple as sending in your favorite inspirational quote, poetry verse, movie quote or song lyric, and explaining why you love it! To submit a quote, please visit the #Fearless QOTW submission page, or email the …

#Fearless Family: My Partners Perspective of My Journey

By Amy C. #Fearless Family Writer I don’t know about other emotional abuse survivors, but I often look at my current romantic partner – my husband to be, no less – and think, “How can you put up with me? Why do you stay with me, even when I have my wobbles? Hasn’t it been an awful chore?! Why do you stay and put yourself through that?!” It’s a scar left by living with someone who made it clear they found me tedious, boring, and stupid, and still influences my thought patterns to this day. The difference now is that I don’t let it take me down. I recognise them and do something about them, so you know what I did about these questions? I asked them. I’m not at home to repressing and hiding my questions, imagining the worst, and living with crippling doubt and self-loathing anymore. If I want to know what my love really thinks, I ask him, safe and confident in the knowledge that he will answer honestly and respectfully…and often …

#Fearless Family: You Can Love Again After Emotional Abuse

By Amy C. #Fearless Family Writer Three years ago today, I was in hell. I’d been in a relationship for almost four and a half years, and three and a half of them had been emotionally abusive. I didn’t realise that I had been abused until it was over; sometimes we are too close to ourselves to see what we have become. I had become a grey, drab, genderless thing, constantly unwell and tired and run-down, and trying to weakly shuffle through each day as quietly and unobtrusively as possible. I was a nervous wreck, constantly hyper-vigilant, and hyper-aware that everything I said, everything I did, and sometimes literally every move I made, would be sneered at and ridiculed by the person who would then turn around and say he loved me. I was 29 years old and going to bed at 7:30 p.m. every night through sheer emotional exhaustion, and a desire to avoid my abuser’s notice. He made it clear he was happier when I was not around, anyway, and I was desperately …

Introducing: Dear Fearless…

In an effort to keep this site new and diverse, we here at #Fearless are very excited to announce the newest addition to our weekly content: Dear Fearless… What is Dear Fearless? Simply put, it’s our version of an advice column. You, our readers, will submit questions anonymously to our advice columnist, Fearless, and then Fearless will give the best advice they can based on the information you gave them. Each week (likely Saturdays at 10:00 a.m. ET), we’ll publish a new advice column and hopefully help the world one article at a time. Once we have a couple questions lined up, we will start publishing them. We will post only when we receive requests for advice, but we hope to make this a weekly column very soon! So, if you want to submit to our new column, here’s what you need to know: All questions will be anonymous, and we suggest you use a creative pen name to sign off as so you know your question is being answered! If you can’t think of …

#Fearless Family: When You Think You Know Best For Someone With Mental Illness

By Face to Face With The Sky #Fearless Family Writer I like to think of myself as a compassionate person. The type who puts myself in other people’s shoes. I’m there for my friends, and when needed I’m a shoulder to cry on. But sometimes, I’m not the sweet, compassionate person I think I am. Last year, my close friend was diagnosed with a mental health condition. We’re in touch almost constantly, sharing feelings and swapping ideas. As someone who has also been through my share of mental illness, I find it easy to have compassion for her. Until she makes a choice I don’t agree with. When that happens, I feel my blood boiling. Gone is the compassionate understanding friend. Instead I’m angry. How could she do such a thing? Doesn’t she see she’s only making her recovery harder? Once I lashed out and gave her a lecture about what she “should” do instead. How do you think that went over? You guessed it: she felt alienated and I felt like was talking to …

#Fearless Family: Coping Does Not Equal Better

By Leigh #Fearless Family Writer I suffer migraines. That sentence could end with any sort of chronic illness or pain. Arthritis. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Fibromyalgia. Cancer. The list goes on. I suffer… Many of us use this terminology because of the danger of using a different one. The real sentence is: I cope with migraines. You cope with pain. You cope with fatigue. You pick yourself up day after day and you get done what needs doing. You do either the same amount as someone who doesn’t deal with chronic illness or pain or you manage what you are capable of at that point in time. The reason “I cope” is so dangerous is that it begins a flood of well-wishing that becomes a tipping point into expectation. “You’re doing great!” “I’m so glad to see how well you’re doing!” “It’s fantastic how well you’ve managed to keep up!” “We’re so proud of how well you’ve done!” These feel great at the start, but after a while they become a burden. Soon it can become: …

#Fearless Family: It’s The Little Things In Love

By Cheryl Fazio #Fearless Family Writer I used to attach a great deal of significance to grand gestures.  I was in an abusive relationship and always waiting for my ex to make some unequivocal declaration of love that would dispel all my doubts; I was waiting for something that would somehow make the cheating, manipulation, and lies all magically okay.  Now I’ve been married almost a year and I have a new perspective on grand gestures. My relationship with my spouse, Senia, progressed incredibly naturally.  We met blogging about George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series.  Specifically, we met blogging (and writing erotic fanfiction) about probably the most objectively villainous family in the ASOIAF universe, House Bolton.  Most infamous for their practice of flaying their enemies, and occasionally wearing cloaks made from the skin, “Bolton fandom” was understandably a very niche subgroup of the larger ASOIAF fandom.   I found this subset at a fortuitous time. Apparently, I’d just missed a lot of drama involving clashes between Bolton fans and some …

In The News: Philadelphia’s Gay Pride Flag

Let’s not sugar coat this: the LGBTQ community, and much of America, is in an uproar right now over Philly’s recent addition to the rainbow flag. If you haven’t heard, they added a brown and black stripe to the flag to help represent LGBTQ people of color. And I’m sure by now you’ve read countless articles both for and against this addition, and heard countless reasons for why each side thinks they are more right than the other. But, in case you weren’t aware of all that happening, we here at #Fearless wanted to take the time educate not just our readers, but ourselves, on why the change was made, and what it truly symbolized. So, instead of you rummaging around the internet in search of clues, leave that to the trusty people of #Fearless! The History of the LGBTQ Flag* So, in order to understand the importance of the rainbow flag we need to go back. Way back, to the 1970s when the first rainbow flag was widely accepted as a symbol of the …

Why I Decided To Come Out

I just spent about two hours trying to craft the perfectly written article for all the reasons why I decided to come out, what factors went in to deciding if I should, and all that jazz. I sat down to read what I wrote and immediately said I didn’t like it. I scrapped it all, and what you’re reading now is what I think is more important. You want to know why I came out? Because I wanted to. It’s really that simple, and all the long winded babbling for a more in depth reason seems unnecessary. I came out because I wanted to accept myself and be proud of who I was. That should be the end of the discussion, but that’d make for a pretty lame post, wouldn’t it? When I sat down to publish my Finding #Fearless article on pansexuality, I was nervous; nervous for a lot of reasons. There was the what if of what my friends and family would say (would they even care? had they always known?). Then there …

What Is Pansexuality & Other Important Questions!

I’ve been waiting for a burst of inspiration on the best way to approach this post. When I wrote my #Finding Fearless article on my pansexuality I briefly touched on the definition, but there were so many small points I wanted to mention that didn’t seem to fit in that story. So, I figured in honor of #Fearless’s first Pride Week, I’d go ahead and elaborate a little more on the points I didn’t get to mention before. Some of these points, while aimed specifically at pansexuality (because there’s not a lot out there in the ways of information) can be applicable to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community. Disclaimer: All information that I put into this article is either based on research I have done, or my own personal experiences. All I can do is talk from that perspective, so please leave me a comment if you feel that I got something wrong, or you would like to help explain something better that I did! What is pansexuality? Pansexuality (also known as omnisexuality) literally means an …