All posts filed under: Social Issues

Fearless Babbles: Morality Debates

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Am I truly a good person? It’s a thought I have fairly regularly, and it’s honestly something that I can’t seem to let go of. What is “good”? What is “bad”? What is right and wrong? I’m not trying to get too philosophical here, and I’m not trying to fish for compliments, but my moral worth – is that even a thing? – is something I call into question a lot. Why that is probably comes down to two very distinct factors: my childhood trauma and anxiety. Both of which play very important roles in my adult life, and it’s something I’m still struggling to fully get a grasp on. Growing up under the hands of narcissism and alcoholism, I’ve learned exactly what NOT to be. Which means I’ve also learned exactly what NOT to associate with in order to keep my mind and emotional well being thriving. If I think a person is even remotely similar to my family, I tend to withdraw and isolate. I find that my mind goes into self preservation, …

#Fearless Family: Why I Stayed

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By CMT #Fearless Family Writer I had a good portion of this written, and then I erased it all. After a period of dwelling and analyzing, I realized that I was writing down every horrible thing he did to me and found myself explaining my actions to possible readers. I was writing out of anger and I wanted to drudge up a “She-woman Man Hater” club. I wanted strangers to hate him. I was writing from a place of anger and re-living every negative detail made it feel like it was happening all over again. I’ve spent two years trying to heal and forgive him and I was slowly undoing my progress. “Why did you stay? I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen. Well, if it was me, I would have left before it started.” Whenever I try to talk about my experience about being in an abusive relationship, those are the words that I hear the most. No one likes to be abused and no one stays for fun. I can’t speak …

#Fearless Family: Navigating Alcoholism’s Aftermath

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By Alexa M. #Fearless Family Writer I am 26 years old, and a full blown millennial. I shared my wedding pictures on Facebook the day I got them, my snapchat is approximately 99% my dog and 1% my anxiety attacks, and I wanted Bernie Sanders to win the election. Part of the territory of being my age (and any age after me, really) is having friends discuss their longing to return back to the “good ol’ days”. You know, the days when their biggest worry was finishing their math homework, or whether that birthday invite was coming in the mail. Not working 40 hours a week or trying to pay the bills on time. After all, “adulting” is hard. But I can’t identify with that. Despite my mortgage, car insurance and student loan payments, I would never wish to go back to my childhood. You see, I’m an adult child of alcoholics. Both of my parents are alcoholic/addicts, and even though they are in recovery now, the events of my childhood still affect me to …

#Fearless Family: An Open Letter To My Abuser – I Forgive You

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By No Longer A Victim #Fearless Family Writer To My Abuser: When you first came into my life, I had no idea you would be one of my worst nightmares. I looked up to you as a father figure, a friend. Little did I know it was all a disguise to get what you really wanted…me. You not only took my innocence, my happiness, and those 2 years of my life, but you also took away future years of confidence, countless nights of wonderful dreams, trust in others (including the man who is now my husband), and feelings of safety. Over 10 years later, and I still have nights where I relive what you did to me in my dreams. It took me years to learn to not cringe or shy away when my husband gets close to me. I now live in a state of anxiety of people who get too close to my daughter, terrified that the same thing might happen to her. She’s only 5, and yet I’ve already begun teaching her …

#Fearless Family: My Partners Perspective of My Journey

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By Amy C. #Fearless Family Writer I don’t know about other emotional abuse survivors, but I often look at my current romantic partner – my husband to be, no less – and think, “How can you put up with me? Why do you stay with me, even when I have my wobbles? Hasn’t it been an awful chore?! Why do you stay and put yourself through that?!” It’s a scar left by living with someone who made it clear they found me tedious, boring, and stupid, and still influences my thought patterns to this day. The difference now is that I don’t let it take me down. I recognise them and do something about them, so you know what I did about these questions? I asked them. I’m not at home to repressing and hiding my questions, imagining the worst, and living with crippling doubt and self-loathing anymore. If I want to know what my love really thinks, I ask him, safe and confident in the knowledge that he will answer honestly and respectfully…and often …

#Fearless Family: You Can Love Again After Emotional Abuse

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By Amy C. #Fearless Family Writer Three years ago today, I was in hell. I’d been in a relationship for almost four and a half years, and three and a half of them had been emotionally abusive. I didn’t realise that I had been abused until it was over; sometimes we are too close to ourselves to see what we have become. I had become a grey, drab, genderless thing, constantly unwell and tired and run-down, and trying to weakly shuffle through each day as quietly and unobtrusively as possible. I was a nervous wreck, constantly hyper-vigilant, and hyper-aware that everything I said, everything I did, and sometimes literally every move I made, would be sneered at and ridiculed by the person who would then turn around and say he loved me. I was 29 years old and going to bed at 7:30 p.m. every night through sheer emotional exhaustion, and a desire to avoid my abuser’s notice. He made it clear he was happier when I was not around, anyway, and I was desperately …

Introducing: Dear Fearless…

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In an effort to keep this site new and diverse, we here at #Fearless are very excited to announce the newest addition to our weekly content: Dear Fearless… What is Dear Fearless? Simply put, it’s our version of an advice column. You, our readers, will submit questions anonymously to our advice columnist, Fearless, and then Fearless will give the best advice they can based on the information you gave them. Each week (likely Saturdays at 10:00 a.m. ET), we’ll publish a new advice column and hopefully help the world one article at a time. Once we have a couple questions lined up, we will start publishing them. We will post only when we receive requests for advice, but we hope to make this a weekly column very soon! So, if you want to submit to our new column, here’s what you need to know: All questions will be anonymous, and we suggest you use a creative pen name to sign off as so you know your question is being answered! If you can’t think of …

#Fearless Family: How Substance Abuse Affects Mental Health

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By Sonia Tagliareni of DrugRehab.com #Fearless Family Writer Mental illness and substance use disorders go hand in hand. People struggling with drug use disorders are twice as likely as the general population to struggle with mood and anxiety disorders, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. The 2014 National Survey on Drug Use and Health reported that 7.9 million Americans suffered from a co-occurring mental illness and substance use disorder. People suffering from depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia and personality disorders are more likely to experience addiction, according to MentalHealth.gov. Substance use disorders and mental health disorders share similar risk factors, including: Genetic risk factors that make a person vulnerable to substance use and mental health disorders Environmental risk factors, such as stress, trauma and early exposure to drugs They also have similar traits, such as: The ability to change similar parts of the brain The ability to disrupt development, especially during early childhood People who use drugs may experience symptoms of mental illness. For example, people who abuse marijuana are at an increased risk of …

#Fearless Family: Freed From His Capture

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The following article contains content that could be triggering to those who have struggled with childhood sexual abuse, trauma or assault. By Rayven Satterfield of Mocha Mag #Fearless Family Writer It was getting late and my stomach was aching. My younger sisters nagged me to make dinner but I stayed glue to my mattress with no words. My mom was arguing with my stepfather again and I tried to stay away whenever things got heated. My stomach was rumbling also but the kitchen was by my mom’s room and I always tried to avoid conflict. My stepfather was a tough man so when he yelled it echoed the apartment walls causing anyone who passed by to hear it. I remained silent but my sisters kept asking me for food. My twin brother told me that he was also hungry so I gave in and agreed to make them a meal. I didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire, so I knew I had a small window of time. I slowly walked into the kitchen …