This is the fifth part of a six part series called Finding #Fearless. It’s the story of my life, my journey and the struggles I’ve endured that have made me who I am today. All names and places have been changed to protect the people involved. To read the rest of the series, please click below: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six Did you know that I can feel sadness? I know it’s shocking that I, a sometimes functioning, occasionally awkward human, am capable of feeling the emotion of sadness. But it’s true, and it’s going to be a big headline news story, just you wait. And if that wasn’t enough to totally set a nuke off in that brain of yours, well, let me blow it even further: you can actually be afraid of feeling human emotions. Cue the synchronized mind blowing of every single person in this universe… all at one time. Okay, it’s not actually that big of a deal, but personally I …
It seems fitting that my 100th post on this site is a reflection of where I’ve come this year. I think it’s appropriate of me to say that there’s a universal sigh of relief knowing that in just one day, we can put the past 12 months behind us and begin focusing on what we hope will be a much less stressful 2017. Because I don’t think anyone will deny that 2016 might just have been one of the toughest years this country, and world, has faced thus far. What I also think is fitting is how I find myself asking how did we get to this point so quickly, and in the same breath, how did it take so long to get here? It’s kind of funny how it works that way. And, my, what a year it’s been.
Fear is a nasty emotion. It’s something that makes us irrational, timid and feel less than we are. It’s a emotion that can turn calmness into madness, and madness into sorrow. People act differently when dictated by fear, and that fear can manifest itself in other ways, such as anxiety, depression and phobias. So many of us struggle with fear running our lives. The what if’s, the could be’s, the ultimate “but” statements. It sends us into this constant struggle of wanting to face our fears but being too scared of what facing those fears could mean. This actually reminds me of when I traveled by plane recently for the first time in about 8 years.
Today, I want to talk to you guys about a misconception that is fracturing our perspectives on recovery. When I ask you what courage means, what would you say? I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer had something to do with having no fear at all. I think we as a society can sometimes get swept away by this idea that to be brave and to be courageous one must have an absence but that simply just isn’t true.
I do not fly. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I told my husband that for our honeymoon I didn’t care where we went, so long as we could drive there. If he didn’t want to drive there, we couldn’t go – plain and simple. But, like most things I loudly proclaim that seem outrageous to my husband, that notion was changed when we were given the opportunity to go to Idaho for a few days at the beginning of September. Don’t ask me why Idaho seemed like the perfect time to change my views on flying, but I felt like I had too. I didn’t want to be grounded by my fears anymore.
Wow it’s been a while since I could sit down and write, and I’ve had this post bubbling inside the brain for a while. Four weeks ago I got a German Shepard puppy – which you can read about here – and he has been absolutely wonderful. Of course, there is so much time that goes in to making sure he’s house broken, not chewing on the things he shouldn’t be, and of course let’s not even begin to talk about early mornings and midnight potty breaks. But I’m finally back into writing and I have a couple posts I’m excited to share with you. This is just the first of many that I’ve been saving up for my return to the keyboard. So, let’s get this party started.